My very own dashboard confessional...

Wow.
What a night.

First off, I simply must relay to myself for future reference the truth and beauty I see in the trite broken-hearted-emo-boy lyrics that Dashboard Confessional's Chris Carrabba has sent out into the world. While I tend to shy away from mindlessly posting to the world lyrics from any given song that happens to be in my head or that might have made me feel a little less alone and unique the in world through the realization that if someone else wrote it, sang it, and made a million with it, and I feel it with every ounce of my being, then there must be some truth to it, I simply must send this out to the universe, regardless.

While it does not truly in any way parallel my life at this point, the first four lines grab my attention like a spiritual slap upside the head, and the rest...well, the rest is just the absolute best and most cleansing thing to sing at the top of my lungs in the car where no one can hear.
Everyone at some point in life can relate to the simple lyrics, but the truth in them makes them so much more than simply simple. The truth in their lack of unique quality is what makes them true.

Without further ado...

"Hands Down", Dashboard Confessional

"Breathe in for luck. Breathe in so deep. This air is blessed, you share with me. This night is wild, so calm and dull. These hearts, they race, from self-control. Your legs are smooth, as they graze mine. We're doing fine. We're doing nothing at all. My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me. So won't you kill me? So I die happy. My heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or bury, or wear as jewelry. Whichever you prefer. The words are hushed, "let's not get busted." Just lay entwined here, undiscovered. Safe in here from all the stupid questions. "Hey did you get some?" Man that is so dumb. Stay quiet, stay near, stay close, they can't hear. So we can get some. My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me. So won't you kill me? So I die happy. My heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or bury, or wear as jewelry. Whichever you prefer. Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember. Always remember the sound of the stereo. The dim of the soft lights. The scent of your hair, that you twirled in your fingers. And the time on the clock, when we realized "It's so late!" And this walk that we share together. The streets were wet, and the gate was locked, So I jumped it, and let you in. And you stood at the door, with your hands on my waist. And you kissed me like you meant it. And I knew...that you meant it. "

So...wow. Last night was my first truly open social outing in a long time, likely in over a year.

Good Cheer definately has it's name right. I couldn't help but feel good, and cheerful, as I spent a pittance of $15 on a hideous display of women's clothing that above all else was not allowed to match in any way. A purple, blue, and green mumu...yes, a real mumu. A tropical looking skirt with palm trees and sandy beaches. Hot pink knee high stockings. High heels with a horrid elastic strap over the top. A black and pink pointy princess hat. A feather boa.
And through much help from new found friends Alli and her sister Lindsay, I was transformed, eyeliner, blush, mascara, lipstick, and all, into none other than the Pretty Pretty Princess from the Land of What Not To Wear.
What a blast!

I have not been happier in ages.

Cherub, I hate it when you're right - because when you're right...you are so right. Damn you for being psychic.
You too Alli. You're going to be in trouble, you know that? You got yourself into, well...everything...now if only you actually wanted to get out of it, you'd have a hard time I think...and yet, I get the feeling that you're going to be the next significant addition to my ever-growing (or rather, newly awakened) soul group, if you aren't already and we've only just woken up to each other's Being...

I get the sense that once you open up and wake up to the path, the journey accelerates a little faster than your mind can truly comprehend. Hence being amazed at life every new day. Huh.

The band was amazing. The dance was phenomenal. Even my attempts while in heels, which soon were discarded for sneakers that clashed even more - perfect. The afterparty was incredible, with my stumbling efforts to remember how to simply make it through one forgotten song on the piano at Katrina's met by the utmost of support and awe by my costumed compatriots.

I do believe I made more friends last night than I have in the last four years. The type that you simply KNOW are going to be around for quite some time, even if they go away...they'll be back.
Levi will be teaching me guitar, and coaching me in getting back in touch with my piano. He's amazing, and in a year or two, I will be proudly telling all that I knew him before he was a rock star.

Poor Chris - the boy that showed up at the end without a costume, tagged along to Katrina's house with the rest of us, and then absentmindedly backed his truck not out of the driveway proper, but over the ledge and into the embankment below. Yes, it was a tricky driveway...yes he could have been paying a little more attention. But as there is a reason for everything, I found it interesting that he didn't seem like a "truck guy", and yet had he been in any other type of vehicle, regardless of my inebriated coaching as to how to dislodge his practically vertical sliding-down-the-slope vehicle and get back on the road, he would never have made it. There was definately a point where I sensed that the truck was going to roll...the door was damn-near touching the ground on the upside of the ditch. But lo-and-behold, he made it, despite a newly ruined clutch, by the sound of it as he drove away humbled and no-doubt embarrassed beyond belief in front of his within-the-hour new friends.

I haven't stayed up until 5:30am for quite a while...and to think I didn't even make it home till 8:45...and got ready for a full day of work with the public. Lovely lovely lovely.
But with the previous night fueling life, it didnt' really end up being a problem.

"When you realize that your steering wheel is god, you've made it." -- my life coach during yesterday's session

::grin::